Tuesday, November 30, 2010

In My Defense... I also like Christmas Lingerie!

I don’t hate Christmas! In fact I think I generally like it. Although I’m not a huge fan of the cliché Christmas songs, or the cold weather, I don’t mind a lot of the other festivities that come with the season. Including any that might involve Christmas lingerie... or bikinis & boots w/ fur (I blame the media for this illusion of fantastic winter attire) *if anybody knows of a place this is normal I need to know.

The thought process behind the defense:

“I don’t hate Christmas! In fact I think I generally like it.” Keyword being generally (insert dictionary definition here) -- let this be a lesson to a lot of people out there, this is a very calculated response to a potentially very bad situation. Being ‘that guy’ who hates Christmas, not only makes you a terrible person it can also be very dangerous. Even people alive with Christmas spirit won’t think twice about kicking your ass for putting any kind of damper on holiday cheer. I would highly recommend ‘generally’ as a good conflict reduction tool.

Not a huge fan... again this is a safe word, just displayed as four separate units working as one to minimize the dramatic (and possibly dangerous) effect of their combined meaning.

Cliché songs, though not a huge fan of the cliché jingles themselves, I may however be rather humoured by many of the dirty variations of the same classic tunes. So the next time you hear a classic Christmas jingle, and wonder why I’m silently laughing about it.... you’ll know.

I do like snow... just not when it’s rolling down the inside of my jacket. I think fresh snow looks great too. Snow can also be used build amazing snow sculptures, please see ‘Calvin & Hobbes’ for examples of ‘amazing’ sculptures (for cartoons, they did some fantastic work). However, I can honestly say that I truly don’t enjoy the cold.

As for the other festivities of the season, Christmas really is a great time of year. You can’t beat the amounts of amazing snacks, or the big meals (which, when prepared by my wife are fantastic!). Things like Christmas lights and gift giving are great. Among the less traditional, Slushing unsuspecting ‘punks’ can be fun (though I might be too old for that this year, we’ll see)

My only suggestion to help improve this already well-loved season, would be to somehow introduce the festivities of one of the other ‘co-holidays’. What I’m suggesting is that any random date during the holidays, implement the festivities of March.14th. This could even be an excellent addition to the already huge hype of ‘Boxing Day’. I couldn’t think of a better finish to day of bargain shopping than the festivities of March 14th. *If not familiar with the holiday that takes place March 14th, here are the google results, it shouldn’t require too much research beyond this.

In all seriousness, I do enjoy the Christmas season. Also as a side note, I said she could decorate 2 weeks ago (however, benefit of the doubt, I was supposed to do some minor heavy lifting first... yep, still on my to-do list), and I’m not lying about the lingerie or bikini part... these are also Christmas things I like.

** comments section below for directions to the place where bikinis are worn as winter outfits. Thanks.

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